Confessions of a Surf Lady | The First Women's Surfing Podcast™

76. 🏄‍♀️ Member Spotlight: How Chey Built Resilience and Confidence in Notoriously Aggressive Santa Cruz Lineups

• Laura Day at The Surf Société • Season 6 • Episode 76

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What does it take to keep showing up—no matter what life throws your way? Chey’s story will leave you inspired. As a mother, a surfer living with MS, and a woman paddling out in Santa Cruz’s notoriously aggressive lineups, she reminds us that strength isn’t about perfection—it’s about choosing joy, resilience, and community.

In this episode of Confessions of a Surf Lady, The First Women’s Surfing Podcast™, I talk with Chey, a Surf Société member whose journey spans from growing up around lakes in Canada to raising a family that surfs together in Mexico and now living in Santa Cruz. Along the way, she’s navigated health challenges, learned how to read the ocean, and discovered the confidence it takes to hold her ground in one of the world’s most aggressive surf lineups.

Chey’s story is a reminder that surfing is layered, personal, and ever-changing. Through The Surf Société, she’s found not just skills and knowledge, but a supportive community of women who celebrate each other’s wins. From reflecting on tough sessions to choosing joy in the lineup, her perspective will inspire you to keep going, keep learning, and keep protecting your stoke.

Main Themes

  • Surfing as a Lifelong Journey
    Chey shares her path from early water experiences in Canada to surf trips in Costa Rica and Mexico, and finally finding home in California.
  • Confidence in the Lineup
    From Santa Cruz aggression to run-ins with entitled surfers, Chey explains how she’s learned to protect her energy and hold her ground.
    “You can choose to paddle in—you’re not giving into them, you’re protecting your positive experience.”
  • The Power of Community and Knowledge
    Chey describes how Surf Société gave her confidence, ocean knowledge, and a sisterhood where everyone’s progress feels like a shared win.

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Confessions of a Surf Lady, women's surfing podcast, is supported by The Surf Société, our unique digital women's surfing platform where we come together to Learn More. Surf Better. Live Happy. Learn more at Surfsociete.com

Chey:

There's days when you're out there, you're gonna be having a blast. Someone's gonna paddle out, and they're a total dick, and they're gonna bring that energy and you can choose to paddle in. You're not giving into them. You're protecting that positive experience. That you were having. And that's a choice you get to make. It's hard. I know I do. There's times I'm like no, I'm not leaving. I was here first and I was having a great time, but then I'm like, but wait, I wanna end on that positive note and I don't wanna get sucked into the craziness that's happening.

Speaker:

Hey lady. Welcome to Confessions of a Surf Lady, a podcast by The Surf Société For so long, women have been misrepresented by the surf industry only highlighting a narrow and exclusive version of a who A Surf lady can be. But you and I both know that there is so much more to women surfing than that. This, this podcast right here is a place to tell our story how we wanna tell it. At Confessions of a Surf Lady, you'll meet Everyday Surf ladies doing amazing things in their local communities as well as Pros world Champs, big wave riders and badass living legends from women's surf history, all sharing their stoke on this blossoming global women's surf culture. What's even more special though, is that you, yes, you. We'll get a chance to participate in the conversation by leaving me your confessions. I'm your host Lori Day. Think of me as your new favorite surf sister, connecting you to your beautiful global women's surf community, helping you boost your confidence before you head out for your next surf, and even dropping a few surf tips from the Surf society along the way. If you wanna stay connected with me, find me on Instagram. That's at Confessions of a Surf Lady. Kind of use that like my personal account and then go ahead and follow at Surf Society, that's S-U-R-F-S-O-C-I-E-T-E. There you'll find a handful of free resources to help you through your surfing journey. Alright lady. Thanks again for joining me here at Confessions of a Surf Lady, where we are cultivating a global women's surf culture through thoughtful conversation. Let's get to our episode. Yeah.

Laura:

So welcome Chey. So stoked to have you here.

Chey:

Thank you. This is, it's nice to do this. We don't see each other very often,

Laura:

I know we need to see each other more.

Chey:

just need to move to Santa Cruz.

Laura:

I know. So you have been such of a beloved member of The Surf Société and just a supporter of the podcast and everything, I have been so grateful to have you in my corner and part of our community. How long have you been a part of The Surf Société what kind of drew you in?

Chey:

I think I found you a connection with Danyelle. Somehow, you know this weird Instagram world that we find all these connections. And I connected with her probably because in Santa Cruz, she's an artist. You end up linked in and then I think she posted or shared something, a Surf Société. And then I started following you guys, and then you and I would like. Message. Somehow something would, connect and we'd be like, oh yeah. And then I was like, oh wait, I should probably just join this group. And it's just, it's supportive and it's, you don't feel like you have to do all these things. Like some groups I feel like if you're local and in person, you're like, oh my God, the meeting site, we have to be there, we have to do this, we have to do that. And this is it's there. You can check in later or you can do it live. There's options and there's always that support or there's ideas that you can use later and maybe they don't apply right now. It doesn't have that intensity of you need to be here at this day, at this time, all the time. But it's a hundred percent supportive all the time. And you cover this variety, it's personal life stories. It's skills that you can acquire and practice it's overall knowledge. So I think because it covers all that different stuff, like different days, something different will speak to you. There's times I read one of the personal experiences or whoever you have as a guest and you hear it and you're like, yes, I relate to that.

Laura:

I love it so much because I, feel like there's a misconception that surfing's so linear join this course, learn this stuff. And it's not, it's not. And so you, like you said, it's This toolbox, like another one of the women described it as like a toolbox. Like you absorb all this knowledge and you come back to it that's like absolutely how I use it too. Even things that I know we learned a year ago or even further back, I'm still thinking about that stuff.

Chey:

Right. it sits back there. Yeah.

Laura:

exactly. I watch videos and I'm like, oh yeah, we talked about that. And it starts like marinating in. It's like this real layered process and when you open up yourself to it I think you get a lot out of it

Chey:

It's all information, like you take it in and it has to sit there and you process it, and then as it's in there, you start figuring out. When it can be applied in your world. And I think that's a big thing. It doesn't mean like I'm gonna go paddle out 20 minutes after whatever information's provided and go apply every single bit of it.'cause we know surfing is surfing. The ocean is the ocean. The lineup is the lineup. It's always ever changing. And then there might be a moment where it happens and you're like, oh yeah, wait. That's the moment. And it just. As long as it's all there and you're processing it and it's on hand, then you apply it, one that presents itself.

Laura:

Tell us about your surf journey.

Chey:

Oh wow. It's a crazy one. So even though I was born in Canada, Northern Ontario, so I was in the water. My mom had me swimming in a lake when I was two months old. Definite water baby. And, but then we traveled to the ocean from when I was really young. We actually came to California and we lived in Carmel for a few years when I was little and I spent hours and hours watching the waves, like it just was part of our daily life. We'd go sit on the rocks and the beach across from where we lived is actually called Mortuary Beach, So we spent hours and hours watching these waves and what they would do and playing in the water. And then I met my husband and we would travel and we would just randomly do a surf lesson. Costa Rica here, there, whatever. But it wasn't like a real thing 'cause we weren't living on the ocean. Then when my boys were young, they were like, wow, we wanna learn to surf. I was like, okay.'cause they'd been going to the ocean too in California since they were babies. And love the water. They played under and over as little kids. That's how you introduce kids to the ocean and how to read waves. You play that game of, Do I go under this one or we go over it so that you can see the shape and what it means and how it's gonna break. And so we're like, okay, fine. Book a trip to Costa Rica ended up extending that trip because we had so much fun. We're like, we can't go home because we lived in Colorado at the time and we're like, no, we're not leaving. So we extended it another whole week. My husband called work and said his son had a ear infection. We couldn't fly over the mountains. Which may or may not have been a little bit true. So then we all. Got guidance on how to do it properly. Like I would say from the beginning, anybody interested a hundred percent do a surf camp, do instruction. It teaches you about the ocean. It teaches you safety, it teaches you etiquette, Obviously if you get the right one.'cause there's definitely camps out there that are BS and there's instructors that are bs. But really do your research, find a good one, and get a really strong foundation. So we did that and then we ended up moving to the Caribbean for two years. And so we, the boys and I ended up with boards and Mike was in med school, the boys and I would go surfing and we just built from there, but we got that strong foundation before we left. And then we lived, moved back to Colorado after a few years and we took a lot of trips to Mexico.

Laura:

Yeah. That is one of your favorite destinations, right?

Chey:

Definitely a favorite. We went to Puerto Escondido and everybody's oh my God, that's, there's big waves. It's scary. I'm like, yeah, but there's also all the other waves, and my husband was doing a rotation at the hospital there, so we spent a whole month. The boys and I basically surfing every

Laura:

Oh, amazing.

Chey:

And after that we're like, ah, we gotta go live inland. This is really hard. But we made it through. And now we live in California where, Mike and I got married in Carmel 26 years ago. So it's like coming home and now it's part of your world and it's in your brain and it doesn't leave.

Laura:

It really is. It's a hundred percent your identity.

Chey:

Yeah.

Laura:

What would you say about the other women that you've met through Surf Société?

Chey:

I love that it's such a mix. It's so interesting because in your head, regardless of who you are, your experience, you have oh, this is the person they grew up surfing, they've always done this, and they've always, been in the ocean. They've always been an athlete or this or that and when you hear their stories I'm like, oh wow, that's really cool. You were like older when you started surfing, or you live in Canada and you surf the Great Lakes. there's spots I used to visit as a kid on the Great Lakes when I was young and I'd be like, they really do surf here. And I was young, so I was just like. really? They do that here? And so when I hear those stories, I'm just like, it really is a melting pot, like all different. And for whatever re reason the ocean. Draws us in I just think it's really cool that such a mix of people have come together to share.

Laura:

We have lake surfers and then one of the women, she lives by a river and it's like, a, Yeah,

Chey:

Which is

Laura:

she drove by river and then she drives onto the coast and then she posted a video. I was like, what? So

Chey:

I know. It's crazy. Actually. My son was in Germany and there's a river wave in Germany and he was on a school trip and he is mom, the surf shop wasn't open late enough. Otherwise I would've rented a wetsuit and surfed the river,

Laura:

Oh my gosh.

Chey:

oh my gosh, Dylan.'cause when he went and looked at universities, he looked, he was going into marine biology, of course, and he went to Maine and he checked schools out on the west coast and he surfed on the west coast. And then the same week him and his dad flew out to Maine and he surfed on the east coast. He

Laura:

Oh

Chey:

surfed both coasts and it was in March. Oh my gosh. He was like in a six mill suit and gloves. He is I couldn't move, but I had so much fun.

Laura:

Oh my gosh. That's the dream,

Chey:

Yeah, definitely.

Laura:

What kind of advice do you have for any woman that, like anybody that's maybe feeling stuck or intimidated in their surfing?

Chey:

I've been there. Obviously for multiple multitude of reasons. Not just one thing. Keep going. Just keep going out and say, And I know it's hard 'cause over a period of time you're like, how often can I go out and say, still be positive. I'm still in the water. I'm still this.'cause you're gonna get to a point where yeah, I got it, but I really would like to move forward. But one day it will, there will be a switch, there'll be a moment where it happens. Try to find the positive every time you go out. After a surf, be like, oh, but I did do this and I did do that. And then maybe reflect on what you wanted to happen in that session. So one of the teachers I worked with, he always said, there's, you don't learn anything unless you take the time to reflect. So sit back and be like, okay, today I, my last wave there was a beautiful big face. And I came in, I was like I messed that one up. My husband said, why? What went wrong? And I go I wish I paddled in earlier. I wish I set my line earlier. So then ask yourself, what did you want to happen differently? And once you figure that out, that's when you can go, how do I fix that? And if you're intimidated, paddle out maybe in conditions that intimidate you, even if you don't catch a wave. If you can do it safely, obviously, like there's times I've been like, should I do this, should I not? And be like, it's okay if you don't catch a wave.'cause you're learning just by sitting out there, you're learning by watching what the conditions are doing. Okay. Look at Surfline, what we're, what do the charts saying and what am I seeing? Okay. I understand a longer period means, a bigger wave. So even it says two feet, but if it's at 18 seconds, do you think the wave's gonna be two feet? Probably not 'cause you got a long period. It's definitely gonna be swim, might be two feet, but the actual wave is gonna be bigger. Learn the conditions, get comfortable with them and it means swimming without a board. Go play in them. I have friends that are like, yeah, it was really big. I wasn't sure about managing a board in them, so I just went and swam out in it. And felt the energy and how do I move my body so that I can still be safe? Helps. If you have a place that has a channel where you can sit and watch and feel safe, just know that you can paddle out to sea and you'll be fine. I know that's a big thing for me and I've had to do it, and I'm like, wow, now I'm way out here. What do I do now? And you find a way in, people are there to help. If you feel like you're in a spot and you got stuck and you're like, oh crap, I don't know what to do. And I've had people around me do that, and they're like I'm really scared. I don't know what to do. People will guide you.

Laura:

Yeah.

Chey:

the safe decision for you and just expose yourself to different conditions or the thing I'm terrified of a low tide. Even if it's a small wave, it's small, hollow and fast on a long board. I'm just like, no, that makes this thing really deadly. Like

Laura:

I'm the same,

Chey:

It's here. I just, I'm not fast enough. Like some people are fast enough to pop up and still tuck along. I just, I can't do that anymore,

Laura:

tough with the big board too. because if you get thrashed with a big board in a low tide and a steep wave, it's a way bigger beating than something smaller. Something I love that you talk about is like understanding, learning the conditions and how to read the forecast and stuff. And you came in Surf Société with a little more knowledge, ocean knowledge and stuff. But we do have like lessons in there that are all about learning how to read the conditions and Yeah. And being a part of that. Which is great 'cause it gives you that kind of background. And you don't feel like you're coming into something completely unarmed, like with No information and the most important thing, so the lesson that we have with that is called How to Read the break. Right? The most important thing I feel like that doesn't get taught is how you just sit there before you even surf and just analyze, like you said, like Where's the channel? What's my exit strategy? I think that's the biggest

Chey:

Oh my gosh.

Laura:

especially for you in Santa

Chey:

You gotta have one. at the tides. Look at the tides. There's tides. It's an ocean, like

Laura:

so I love it.'cause this is Surf Société is such a great place to not only learn that stuff but ask the questions and then get the advice of women that are, that have different levels of experience. You have completely different type of experience And then I have and I think when I've come up to Santa Cruz, you've given me advice on like. Where to paddle out. Like what to look out for. Yeah. And it's Really helpful. What would you say to somebody that is looking for more support in considering joining Surf Société? Coming and joining us and being a part of our group? Would you say to her?

Chey:

I would say pull the trigger. You may not know at the beginning what you can get from it, because even when I joined, I was like, I knew you. We had communicated and I'd gone on and seen a few things, so I wasn't a hundred percent sure of what was offered. I could have probably asked the question and found out, but I was like, this already feels like a welcoming community. so pull the trigger. know that there's always someone on the other end that can answer any question and you don't feel stupid like you're asking a stupid question, like it's a comfortable environment where you can ask whatever. Someone else might say, oh yeah, I have no idea. I need to know that too. Someone else will be like, oh yeah, I actually experienced that. This is what I went through and. Yes. The variety of information from, like you said, you got from Ocean Knowledge, how to learn about the ocean and what's important to life experiences, equipment skills, paddling skills, like there's such a variety that I feel like you can't go wrong. There's always gonna be something that someone can benefit from, and it's women. Especially in surfing, we all know, like you go out there and there's days I paddle out and I just go, okay, this is the day it's gonna be. but we got this. We got this. We belong here. We're just as strong or stronger. I might add in many cases I had a really interesting experience in Mexico. One, just one which felt great that it was only one.'cause you've surfed in Santa Cruz. It can be, you've probably had really. chill experiences. But honestly the lineups here are probably the most aggressive. I've surfed in all of the world and I've surfed in Morocco. We've surfed in the Caribbean, like Hands down and my boys have both experienced it and come home in tears. And not as little kids like, and they are respectful because that was the number one thing they were taught. You respect the lineup, you respect the ocean, you respect the people in the lineup. If you're not from there, even more so

Laura:

Yeah.

Chey:

that is not your home and that's not your lineup, not that anywhere belongs to any one person. And it's really aggressive here, and I've had to. Really teach them and myself. How do you navigate that? Mentally how do you go have the experience you wanna have when that's out there? And it can be very negative, but in Mexico, this. it was a spot. We were surfing a left, it was awesome. We surf there every day and there's very few people that take the lefts, which is awesome. There was a few other people, but it was very clear, like who was going, oh, like you haven't gone in a while. Either the wave was coming to you or it wasn't like it was really clear and went for a wave and I looked like twice down the line to my right and I was like no. And being on a longboard, not wanting to push the envelope. We were over a little bit, not as deep, because we're not on a shortboard, we didn't wanna. You didn't wanna end up in the middle and being tossed and turned so looked twice. Paddle. And I was pretty much yeah, this I'm forcing it at this point. So I was backing off and I look again to my right and this guy on a short board's coming and he stops and then he throws his arms up and he's like, why are you going for the wave? And I'm like, I stopped. Why did you stop? Are you mad at me?'cause you stopped. Because you could have kept going. And I just was like I didn't see you. I looked down the line twice. The sun is also rising at that point, so it's really hard to see. But I'm also like, that means you caught it on the inside.'cause I was way out back. and There was nobody on it with me. I was like, whatever. I'm not dealing with you. He was not from there. He was an American. And I warned our friends with us. I said, just heads up that guy's a dick. Like be forewarned. And I paddle back out and he paddles over. He goes, sorry I was being a dick. I'm like, yeah, you were. And he goes, yeah, when I really, I'm going for a wave. I don't notice if those people, I don't look. And I go I do. Didn't see you. I'm not sure where you came from. Must have been last minute on the inside. I go, I'm in Santa Cruz. There's 50 freaking people on every wave, so you gotta look like it's not an option.

Laura:

I love though your composure around it.'cause I think that's something a lot of women struggle with when you don't have all as much experience on standing up for yourself in the lineup. And that, it, that took me honestly, probably took me a couple years to really understand and it's when you really understand, like how you move around the lineup, reflecting on your sessions. You really understand etiquette and safety, I think that's really important. And then you build these experiences where you know, right off the bat like, Nope, I don't need to go home and mold this over in my head whose fault it was. I absolutely know. And I think that's a skill that a lot of women. In, surfing is probably striving for, but they don't really know how to get to. I wanna definitely say that the confidence, at least for me also has been through the information from Surf Société as far as like, I know I have the information actually even as basic as how waves break, Where waves come from. I guarantee you that guy doesn't even know where waves Comes from. Yeah. And when you're able to walk in and be like, I already know more information than you. Even if I'm not as good of a surfer on the wave, you come in with a different kind of confidence. So I love how you exhibit that. You're like, no, not dealing with you. Not dealing with it.

Chey:

Yeah. He's I don't notice if there's someone, I'm like, I

Laura:

You should.

Chey:

Sorry. I am big on safety and I'm big on etiquette.

Laura:

a hundred percent.

Chey:

huge, like I'm not a dropper in like. I've been told by Wing that go, you should have gone. I'm like, that's against all my, like moral, ethical being. I can, I, it's hard for me to do that. I'm getting more comfortable with if someone's way behind me, then okay. And it's a chill wave. Then I'll go, but I also don't have the confidence in my body because of the MS. To know that it's going to do what it's gonna needs to do. Like it may one day be like, oh, you thought you wanted to go that way? Guess what? We're going over here and. I don't wanna disrupt someone's line like I respect them and I know how hard it is to get a wave and the time it takes, especially in crazy lineups that No, that's not fair. Like why would I do that to them? I've had guys that'll do circles and I'm just like. I'm going, dude, don't be back paddling. Don't be doing that. Like everybody else is taking their turn. Go back to kindergarten and learn how to wait. in line. Like

Laura:

Love it.

Chey:

I just.

Laura:

it's such a great attitude. Just a great, just like confidence in you. And I think that every woman should pull more from that. Especially

Chey:

have to say it takes time.

Laura:

Yes.

Chey:

and it, there's still days that it's not there. There's days when you feel the energy and you're just like, ah, either you're not up to it, or it just feels so intense and aggressive out there that you're like, is this worth it today? You have to evaluate. There's sometimes that it's a learning lesson and the person will accept the lesson, or there's days that it's like it's just gonna keep going downhill and it's not worth it. And I told my son, there's days when you're out there, you're gonna be having a blast. Someone's gonna paddle out, and they're a total dick, and they're gonna bring that energy and you can choose to paddle in. You're not giving into them. You're protecting that positive experience. That you were having. And that's a choice you get to make. It's hard. I know I do. There's times I'm like no, I'm not leaving. I was here first and I was having a great time, but then I'm like, but wait, I wanna end on that positive note and I don't wanna get sucked into the craziness that's happening. And you make that choice and it's not giving in. It's you doing it for yourself. But it's hard. How do you read it? How do you read the energy? How do you read where you're at that day? It's not straightforward in my son. Now there's times he's come home and been like, I did it, mom. I chose to say, Nope, I was having a great time. I'm gonna go home on that and I'm outta here. I'm not gonna get sucked into this negative, aggressive energy. And it's, yeah, but it's hard. It's not easy.

Laura:

Not meant to get perfect the first time or any time. the Process of learning to trust where that's at for you over time.

Chey:

and we're all human and we all make mistakes. So when someone makes a mistake and they're like, oh man, I totally Biff that. Sorry. Then you're like, okay, got it. We all make mistakes. But then there's the times that you're like no,

Laura:

Yeah,

Chey:

you made that choice.

Laura:

Well, lemme let us wrap this up 'cause we've got the next call and Vals on the, in the waiting room for us. But let me ask you this. What's your favorite thing about Surf Société?

Chey:

Wow. Wow. Everybody's so positive.'cause there's days you're frustrated or you're annoyed and then you read something or someone shares something and you're like, it gives you a mind switch. It gives you the opportunity to be like. Okay. We all have the hard days, but then you have a good day and then it draws you back. Or the one story that was shared that she kept hitting roadblocks, but she kept coming back and I'm like, it draws you back every time. And to hear other people's experiences helps you stay in that more positive environment and all the knowledge, there's so much stuff out there that you may have learned, but then you forget. You're like, oh yeah, that's right. And community, it's a good, it's a positive community,

Laura:

I feel like with Surf Société, Ever had a group like this. Even with friends I surf with. I think what's different is, 'cause we talk about our skills in Surf Société and our goals, so when people make these moves and they're doing things they were working on, your win is my win. I'm now automatically so stoked that you took that first cross step or you did that turn, or now you Shared a video and you're surfing so much more confidently than last year. feel, you really feel like, oh, I feel accomplishment. because she Yeah.

Chey:

Oh my gosh. When I was in Mexico, I was on a shorter board only by four inches. But you realize four inches can be a lot in a faster wave. I was popping up and I was far back on the tail. And when you had talked about when you were on a smaller board and you're like, oh, my nose was up.'cause I kept being on the back too much. I was like, wait, Laura talked about this exact thing that I'm experiencing, And I was like, okay, remember to scoot up just a little bit. And I totally did. By the second day I was like, okay, we're back to normal on the board. But it was like, I totally in my brain went back to that conversation that was in one of your replays. and I'm like, ah.

Laura:

oh, I love that. I didn't know.

Chey:

yeah, it just it connects so much on a deeper level, I think, than just a regular, like talking to someone when you're out in the water or whatever. Yeah.

Laura:

Thank you so much. I'm gonna end it on that and we're transitioning into our community shop talk, where you're gonna talk to us about surfing and MS. And autoimmune. And everything that you've, you're so inspiring, so stoked to do that.